


The beauty in death

by Killjoy_7402



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 11:31:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15581010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killjoy_7402/pseuds/Killjoy_7402
Summary: "You knew it was wrong. And you knew what people would think about you. But you just couldn't quell the morbid curiosity that burned inside you at the macabre that was Valdemar"~The count is dead for good. and the city of vesuvia lays at rest, forever grateful to you and your three friends. And now your left to do with your life as you please. To continue old dreams, start new ones, and maybe even fall in love....?~A universe in witch you finish the mystery without romancing anyone. But instead end up falling in love with a certain Quaestor. Fem!reader.Enjoy. >:)-Alex-~





	1. A work load

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is more to set the scene, its a little boring tbh. I apologize for that. Anyways, enjoy! >:)

The hot Vesuvian sun beat down upon your neck as sweat trailed along the divots of your body. The summer heat wasn't something you were very fond of. You preferred cooler temperatures, such as the ones signified in fall, or winter. The heat just wasn't for you. 

But nonetheless, you labored away, hauling wheel-barrows filled with wood and other building nessesities to their appropriate destinations. 

Your cloths were already soaked through with sweat, and you had long since grown accustomed to the ache in your feet and knees. The splinters and blisters along your hands were too many to count and your muscles screamed with protest at the over use. But still, you worked on. 

It was for a good cause, after all.   
You were helping De-flood and rebuild the flooded district. 

The construction had started about four months ago. It was just shy a week after the counts death when Nadia ordered the renovation of not only the flooded district, but also other unsound areas of the city, such as the colleseum. 

A team of professional architects over saw the development of the new horse race-track which would replace the colleseum, as well as rebuilding the more unstable homes in the flooded district. And Asra helped Nadia produce a mechanism that would de-flood the district as Julian went about to anyone seeking medical attention, while his sister and muriel handed out food to the poor. 

You helped where you were needed. 

And ,right now, that meant transporting materials to and frow from between architects, making sure they had the things they needed. 

You swiped a trail of sweat from your forehead and continued along your way, pushing the barrow full of materials along the make shift paths that were built to help navigate the district.

You approached a particularly unsettling building. All of the windows had been broken in, vines and other strange looking plants crawling through the un-paned frames and along the walls. Where the door was supposed to sit was ,instead, a gaping whole were the wall had caved in on itself, and the surrounding wall next to it was splintered with cracks threatening to give way and collapse at any moment   
Surrounding the building was hastily made scaffolding where carpenters milled about, repairing parts or cautiously removing and replacing unfixable parts of the wall. 

You rolled your wheel-barrow full of wood to the front of the damaged building, helping other volunteers to further transport the materials to the carpenters.  

As you were handing off a piece of wood off to someone upon the scaffolding, you heard your names beubg called from behind you. 

You handed off the wood and turned your attention towards the direction of the voice to see none other than Julian trotting towards you. He waved when he saw he had caught your attention. 

You chuckled and waved back, waiting for him patiently. 

When he finally reached you he was bent over ,hands on knees, and gasping for breath. 

You wondered how long he had been searching for you. 

When he had caught his breath, he stood up straight, causing you to told your head up to get a better look at him. 

The docter was ,much like yourself, drenched in sweat, his white shirt clinging to him like metal to magnet. His rusty hair was also wet, hanging low and clinging to his face rather than its usual valumous size and waviness. 

You raised an eyebrow at him. He chuckled. 

"Sorry". He spoke, running his fingers through his sodden hair. "I was wondering if I could steal you for some help?" 

"Sure what's up?". As he turned to lead you away, you fallowed. 

He sighed heavily. "The med  team and I came across an orphanage. Its bad there y/n. At least ten broken limbs and even more poorly medication cuts and infections.". His gaze turned dark then. You saw it in the way his brow set, low and furrowed. And the deep frown that marred his lips. "Im sure if Lucio was still around, more than half of those kids would have the plague." 

You frowned as well at Julian's statement. You didn't quite like discussing the plague. Those were the parts of your memory that you wished you had forgotten permenantly. 

You both walked in silence then, the only sound between you two being the scuff of your leather shoes against the ground. 

As you and your red-headed companion reached the orphanage, your heart sank into your stomache. You saw what Julian spoke of. 

There were children of all ages scattered about on strechters. All with vareouse injuries and most of them crying. Your heart broke. 

As you approached the building you spoke to Julian. "We're going to have to speak with Nadia about the conditions of this and other orphanages. Children shouldn't be living like this." 

Julian simply nodded his head. He pointed to a stretcher with a child who had yet to be tended to. "Can you help her out?". He asked. 

You nodded your head, to witch he gave an appreciative smile to. 

As you approached there little girl, you scurried about in your bag and pulled out nessesary supplies you might need. 

Now, you were no docter, but you knew enough to help out with simple injuries. 

You studied the girl as you came to stand in front of her. Her dirty and torn cloths hung off her small, malnourished frame. Her skin was muddied with days ,maybe weeks, of grime and her dirty blonde hair was more literally dirty than blonde, all knotted and greasy. 

But what was most noticeable was the injury on the young girls collorbone. It was probably nothing more then a small cut when she first acquired it, but it was now swollen and green with infection, a yellow substance seeping from its head and trailling down her chest. 

The young girls shy, bright blue eyes trailed up slowly to meet your own. You smiled gently at her. 

"Hi" you said in a not unkind voice. "My names y/n. Whats yours"

"Kiyera". She replied in such a soft voice, you almost didmt hear her. 

"Well its nice to meets you Kiyera.". She smiled at her. "Mind if I take a look at your injury there". You gestured towards her collarbone. 

The young girl simply nodded. 

"Okay.". You grabbed some gloves as you inspected the cut. "Alright sweaty. So you've got an infection. So im going to have to drain it out alright? Its going to hurt a bit." 

Fear flashed across her blue eyes at your statement, but she nodded her consent nonetheless. 

You had barely touched it before the young girl flinched and whimpered in pain. 

"Sorry hunny". You sat next to her and decided to talk to her while you drained her infection. 

You talked about all kinds of things; your childhood memories, what you had for breakfast this morning, what your favorite animal was. And more often than not, the young girl was too enraptured by your words than to notice her pain. 

After you had drained the infection, you cleaned the cut and dressed it, then sending the girl on her way to the nurses who were taking turns bathing the children. 

You sighed as you looked across the mass of injured children. This is ridiculous. You thought. 

Deciding to move on to another child, you collected your supplies. 

You didn't get more than five steps in before you heard a strangely familiar voice behind you. 

"Need any help?" 

You turned and saw the last person you expected to see here. 

Quaestor Valdemar.  
~


	2. Medical attention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy>:)

You stare ,open mouthed and dumb-founded, at the physician in front of you. 

Out of all the people that could have decided to come and help, Valdemar was not among the list. The last time the two of you had met, they were about to dissect Julian. 

Why were they here, you wondered. They didn't exactly seem like the helping type. But then again, you didn't quite know them did you? 

Valdemar cocked there head to the right, giving you an almost amused look. Although it was hard to tell with the surgical mask that covered half there face. 

"Is it so hard to believe that I want to help the children?". Valdemar said, their hand gesturing to the children behind you. 

Without thinking you blurted out, "Yes". You mentally scolded yourself. 

Valdemar didn't respond to your comment though. They just looked at you, there head tilted to the side and there hands clasped in front of them in there usual manner. The gleeful look in their eyes told you that they were smiling that seemingly too-wide smile behind there mask. 

You mentally willed them to go away. You didn't want to have to deal with this problem on your own. But ,alas, they stayed put, not moving a muscle. It didn't even look like they were breathing. Witch only fuiled your theory that Valdemar wasn't exactly human. 

You turned your head, eyes sweeping the crowd of children and doctors in search of Julian. 

Finally you spotted him, tending to a young boy who seemed to have a broken arm. 

You looked back at Valdemar to find them looking elsewhere, eyes roaming over the streats of the city. You didn't want to leave them alone, but you had to discuss this matter with Julian. 

You sighed, causing them to look your way once more. "I'll be right back.". You said, to witch they nodded there head. 

You nodded as well and strode towards Julian, weaving through bodies and strechters. He looked up as you approached him. 

"Julian, can I barrow you for a second?". You asked. He nodded ,brows furrowed in concern, as he hailed another docter to work on the young boy he had been tending to. You pulled him to the side. 

"So Whats up y/n?". He asked, arms crossed over themselves. 

You nodded your head in the direction of Valdemar. They were standing in the exact same spot you left them in. 

Julian fallowed your line of sight. When he caught notice of Valdemar's presence, his face scrunched up with a mixture of confusion, hate, and fear. 

"What are they doing here?" he inquired, eyes never leaving the doctors form. 

You sighed as you shrugged your shoulders, muscles aching with the movement. "I don't know, they asked if they could help.". You explained. 

"Help?". Julian's gaze finally returned to you. You nodded. "And what did you say?" 

"Nothing, that's why I'm talking to you". You closed your eyes in contentment as you felt a cool breeze flit across your face. 

Julian sighed heavily, head bowed and resting in his hand as he thought. 

After a few movements spent like that, Julian turned his gaze towards Valdemar once again. "We'll deal with how they new we needed help later. But right now, we are short staffed. And as, much as I hate to admit it, though sadistic they may be, they are good at there job." he turned towards you. "They may help, but stay with them. We wouldn't want a child to be dissected." 

You nodded your head solomnly, none too happy to be working with the psychopath. 

"Thanks" Julian said before walking away. 

"Yeah" You said to no one, walking once more towards the Quaestor. You took your time, stopping every once in a while to see if a child needed anything. 

Once you finally reached them, there gaze turned towards you. 

Valdemar cocked there head. "Are you going to kick me out? Like you did in the dungeons?" Despite there accusing words, they still seemed amused. 

And for some reason, there words made guilt settle in the pit of your stomache. 

You turned your head away in shame. "No." you coaghed nervously. For some reason, Valdemar's presence made you tense. "Follow me" 

They did so without protest, fallowing you to the nearest child in need. 

The young brunette boy had a large gash across his right forearm. It wasn't very wide, but it looked deep. And painful, if the tears pooling out of the boys eyes was anything to go by. 

You kneeled in front of him, "hey buddy. I'm here to help with your cut okay?" The boy nodded, tears still streaming like rivers down his cheeks. 

You stood up to clean the boys cut. You were aware of Valdemar's presence behind you, but you decided to ignore it. 

That is until they made themselves known. 

"That cut's going to need stitches." They said. 

The boy cried even more at that statement. 

You turned your head towards Valdemar, giving them an anoyyed look, to witch they just looked at you. 

You sighed, knowing they were right. "Alright" you went to step back to give Valdemar room, because you sure as hell couldn't stitch an arm. You didn't get too far before you felt a hand grab your trousers. 

You looked down to find the boy grasping your pants for dear life. He pleaded with his eyes for you not to leave. 

You looked for Valdemar, finding them busy with getting supplies they'd need. Nodding to the boy, you sat on the stretcher  beside him.

As Valdemar aproached, the boy hid his face in the crook of your neck, his free hand gripping your shirt. 

You rubbed his back and whispered sweet nothings into his ear. 

You watched as Valdemar grabbed the boys arm and repositioned it, needle and thread poised.  

"This is going to hurt quit a bit" Valdemar purred, an evil glint in there eye. 

Before you can respond, the doctor threads the needle through the boys arm. 

The young brunette screamed in pain, teeth clamping around the flesh of your neck and biting down hard. 

You winced in pain, sure that that would leave a mark, but otherwise stayed still. You didn't want to disturb Valdemar's work.  
Valdemar made quick work of stitching the boy, wrapping the stitches in an off-white cloth afterwards. 

The boy finally let go of your neck, sniffling and hicuping. You sent the boy on his way. 

As you watched after the boys receding form, you brought a hand up to your neck. 

You were bleeding. 

Suddenly you felt a breath on your neck. You turned your head to come face to face with a De-masked Valdemar, there too-wide smile and gleeful eyes a mere inch from your face. You tried to move, but your body didn't let you; so you were hoping Valdemar would, but they didn't seem to know the concept of personal space as they didn't move. 

"Need help with that?" They prodded at the wound on your neck. 

The pain that shot through your neck pulled you out of your stoic posture. You winced away, witch caused Valdemar to laugh. An evil, dangerous laugh, accented with a cock of there head. 

You shook your head. "No I can get it" you tried backing away, hand covering your wound. 

But Valdemar shook there head and wrapped there long, leather-clad fingers around your wrist, pulling it free from your neck. There other hand stretched across your chest, pushing you onto a nearby stretcher. 

"With what mirror? I don't seem to see any around. Unless you were planning on doing it blind?" They asked. You shook your head no. "Okay, then let me help"  
You nodded reluctantly, getting comfortable on the stretcher as Valdemar grabbed the things they'd need. 

When they were finished, they aproached you. There hand gripped your jaw, pushing it away to get a better look at your neck. Valdemar used their free hand to clean your injury. You winced in pain as you felt a particularly hard thrust of their cleaning hand. 

You glared at them, "You did that on purpose." They chuckled menacingly at your accusation. 

"Yes" They purred, their crimson eyes boring into yours as they pushed harder on your wound. 

A heat flared deep in the pit of your stomache like lava at their gaze, the pain in your neck only seeming to spur the heat on. 

Their leathered thumb carresed the underside of your jaw as they smiled, sharp white teeth glinting in the sunlight. 

There was something in Valdemar's gaze..... It shined differently than the usual evil glint they had. You narrowed your eyes, trying to read their expression. 

But they pulled away too quickly for you catch it. As they continued to dress your wound, you couldn't help but wonder.... What the hell was that?  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, what was that? Anyways, tell me what you think.   
> ~Alex~


	3. Tedious meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story, I woke up in the middle of the night with a great idea for this chapter, so I went to write that idea down real quick but then ended up staying up all night to write the whole chapter. Oh well. Enjoy>:)

"Yes, I realize that you don't like to share your food Volta, but the cities poorer population cannot afford to buy food at the many vendors in Vesuvia. All I ask is that you donate a tenth of your food to one of the shelters throughout the city. It is not that outrageous of a request." Nadia's commanding voice echoed throughout the expansive meeting hall, lined with frustration. 

You were currently attending a counsel meeting. Since Nadia appointed you Head Magician, you now had to attend the weekly get togethers.

You sat at a long marble table, seated to the right of Nadia, who sat as head of the table. Across from you sat Julian, beside him was Asra. The rest of the table housed the courtiers. 

The current topic of disscusion was the lack of free food throughout the city. Asra had brought up the problem, saying that the shelters that housed the homeless were running low on donated food, and since the shelters were non-profitable, they couldn't buy or make food of their own. 

Valereous had suggested that Volta donate some of her food, since she had so much of it. You had thought it was a good suggestion, but the way Valereous laughed at the end of his statement, made you believe that is was meant to be more of a jest at Volta rather than an actual suggestion. 

Nadia ,and everyone else, had thought it was a good suggestion too. Well, everyone except Volta. 

As soon, as the utterance left Valereous's wine dipped lips, Volta had objected, going on and on about running out of food and other such nonsense. 

The table of people were getting restless with Volta's lack of cooperation. And Nadia had long since lost her sence of composure. She was slouched over the sleek table, hands rubbing her temples while a deep frown marred her lips. You knew Nadia wouldn't be able to take much more. 

So you decided to intervien. 

"Volta..." You tried, but you doubted anyone heard you, what with they way Volta was rambling on. 

"Volta!" You had caught the attention of most of the others at the table, but Volta still seemed oblivious of you. 

You sucked in a deep breath, "VOLTA!!" The sound of your booming voice ricocheted off of the high ceilings of the meeting hall. 

The silence that fallowed was almost maddening. 

Everyones eyes were now on you; even ,you noticed with a sence of success, Volta's. 

"Listen, we know you don't want to share your food, you've made that QUIT clear..." Your arms flared about with barely contained agitation. "But there are people starving to death out there Volta!" 

You weren't normally like this, you were usually quiet and reserved, inserting your opinion when needed. But Volta had gotten on your nerves, and you didn't want this to continue any further. 

"Its not like we're asking you to empty your coffers. Just.... Help out, okay? " Your voice had re-obtained it's usuall quiet pitch. Volta nodded, your outburst had worked. "Okay." 

Everyone in the room gave you apretiative looks, some even praising looks. 

But who cought your eye was Valdemar. They had their usual mask on, hands resting clasped before them on the marble table.

You were vaugly aware of Nadia continuing on with the meeting, but your attention was on Valdemar's bright crimson eyes,  staring back at you with mirth. The crinkles under their eyes told you they were smiling that too-wide smile under their mask. And for some reason, you found yourself wanting to see that smile. 

You dubbed it as morbid curiosity. 

Ever since that day at the orphanage, you had avoided Valdemar as much as possible. Witch was pretty hard to do since they had been coming out more often, helping wherever medical assistance was needed.

You wondered why they wanted to all of a sudden just help. You didnt have time to ponder it much as you heard your name being called. 

Countess Nadia let her gaze fall to you, regal as ever. " y/n, I trust that the De-flooding of the flooded district is going well?"

"Yes, milady" You remembered to use her title in front of others. "Asra and I have helped with the magical part of the ordeal, and the architects are dealing with the mechanical part. At this rate, the entire district should be De-flooded in a weeks time. "  

Nadia gave you an approving look, accented with a silent friendly nod of thanks. You nodded back, with a kind smile gracing your lips. 

Her gaze then turned towards Julian. "And you , Doctor Devorak? How is that make shift med team of yours doing?" 

Julian sighed. "Not so well." He admitted, his face flushed with regret. "We've got too many cases and not enough volunteers. We need to spread the word, but that's hard to do when we're always flooded with patients" 

Nadia absorbed his words, seeming to think for a moment, her elegant eyebrows knitted in concentration. 

Then, Valdemar spoke up. 

"I can get some of the palace doctors to help. It won't be of much trouble." Their malicious voice flitted across the room. 

You gave them a questioning look, silently asking why they wanted to help. They simply cocked there head, eyes shinning with amusement. 

"That would be greatly apretaited. Y/n, you can also help, since I know you know medicial magic. Asra will oversee the rest of the De-flooding, as this will now take up most of your time. The three of you," Nadia gestured to Julian Valdemar and you. "....will go into town tomorrow and see if you can find any volunteers" 

You nodded your consent. You didnt want to be around Valdemar much, but you didn't have a choice. 

"Any other concerns that you wish to address tonight ?" Nadia asked, eyes sweeping the room. A Corus of "no milady's" were her answers. "Meeting dismissed. " 

You stood and exited the room, eyes heavy with sleep and mouth opened in a yawn. 

When,you opened your eyes, you found Asra standing in front of you. "That was quit the outburst in there. " He gave you a teasing smile. You rolled your eyes. 

"I must agree. Quit the show" Nadia said from behind you, a chuckle slipping past her lips. "But thank you y/n. It was apretaited." She gave you a soft smile. 

"No problem Nadi" You smiled back. 

"Well, ilya has already left, I better go catch up with him before he causes trouble." Asra said. He gave you a hug before he departed. 

"Goodnight y/n" Nadia said before departing as well.

As you turned to head to your room,  you felt a presence beside you. You turned your head to find Valdemar there, mask off and crimson eyes staring at you. 

"May I walk you to your room?" They asked, ending there sentence with a tilt of their head.  
You didn't trust your words right then, so you just nodded. Even if you wanted to say something, the rapid beat of your heart wouldn't allow it. 

They smiled, taking the crook of your elbow in their gloved hand as they started walking. 

Valdemar took long purposeful strides with their long legs, so you had to quicken your pace to keep up with them. This seemed to amuse them. 

The two of you walked the halls of the palace in silence. 

They spoke up as the both of you aproached your door, turning towards you. "You should visit the dungeons sometime soon. Just the two of us." 

Valdemar's blood red gaze met yours, and again you found yourself lost in those deep red pools. Except this time, you could see their too-wide smile.  This pleased you. And ,for once, you smiled back. 

"Yeah, maybe I will " You replied. That caused Valdemar's smile to widen further, sharp teeth peeking out behind thin lips. The smile was still sinister and menacing , but it was a welcome sight. 

"Good" 

They gave you one last finale look, before striding away on there long legs.  
You watched at there receding form, heart fluttering madly. You blamed it on the adrenaline your heart still held from your outburst in court today. ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think.  
> ~Alex~


	4. rubbing off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.o the name of the chapter won't make since till the very end. Lol. Enjoy >:)

You were surrounded by darkness. A nearly maddening darkness. A darkness so deep, so suffocating, that it could only be described as void. 

And you were floating. Drifting aimlessly through the still silence. You couldn't move your limbs, they felt stiff and dead. Your eyes felt heavy and your heart beat slowly. 

Then ,out of nowhere, a bright, all-incompasing light split through the void. And all of a sudden you were falling, you felt no wind, but the twist of your gut told you that gravity had a hold on you. And the silence blurred into sound with the ever increasing volume of rushing wind. 

And then....your eyes opened. And you were awake. 

Your still tired eyes swept across the sight before you. For a moment, you forgot where you were. But with the site of extravagant furniture and vibrant plush rugs, you soon remembered. 

You were in your room at the palace. 

And the light from before was morning light streaming through the window, curtains hanging open with the help of a certain bubbly red-head. 

"Morning sunshine!" Her jubilant voice sprang through the room, a radiant smile upon her face. 

You didn't understand how someone could possibly be that happy in the morning. 

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, sitting up to stretch your sore limbs. You let loose a monstrous yawn. 

Portia giggled. She ushered you off the bed so she could make it, handing you a set of clothes. 

You looked at them strangely. You already had a wardrobe full of clothes, so why would Portia give you more. 

Shifting through the clothes, you examined them. The outfit seemed to be a typical palace doctor uniform. 

The lab coat was similar to Julian's, with a button-over flap for the stomach and chest. The coat was accompanied with trousers and a waist wrap, also similar to Julian's. 

But ,unlike Julian's, your coat and pants were a vibrant red (the waist wrap a slightly darker shade) with a gold trim. And the leather, thigh-length boots were a stark white, as well as the bisept-length leather gloves. 

You turned your eyes towards Portia, who had just finished making your silk laden bed. When she turned towards you, you raised an eyebrow, lifting up the uniform. 

"Ah yes. The uniform." She spoke as she busied herself with tidying up your bedroom. "The volunteer doctors from the city won't be wearing unifroms in my brothers make-shift med squad. But milady thought that ,since you're representing the palace and all, you should get a uniform. The other palace doctors already have uniforms. Although, theirs are less sufficticated and flashy than yours, Julian's and Valdemar's." She gave you a cheeky wink, as she dusted off your bed-side table. 

"Oh. So I have to were this today?" You inquired, you wanted to know if you had to change into this for yours, Julian's and Valdemar's trip into town today. 

"Well, yeah. Representing the palace and all that" She chuckled. "And you better hurry up with it too, Valdemar and Julian are already ready and waiting." 

Your eyes widen. "Wait what?! Why??" you stripped your clothes off hastily as you spoke, not even caring if Portia saw you naked. 

Portia looked away in embarresment, from your state of undress or from the answer to your question, you weren't sure. 

"I let you sleep in" She said in an almost squicky voice as you clothed yourself. 

"Why?" You asked as you slipped on the white gloves. They fitted to you like a part of your body rather than a piece of clothing, not hindering your movements like you thought they would. 

Portia looked at you then, eyes watery with unshed tears. You knitted your brows in concern. 

"W-well I thought that I ought t-to give you some extra sleep because.... Because.." she almost broke down just then. You nodded for her to continue, holding her hand in yours for support. But she shook her head and retracted her hand from yours. "I let you sleep in because I couldn't emagin you got much sleep last night with those night-terrors of yours." 

Your heart sank into your stomache. 

Since you had gained your memories back, you often had night terrors of being burned alive. In fact, there hadn't been a night since then that you didn't suffer from one. You'd often wake up two or three times a night drenched in sweat and breathing hard. 

The only person who knew of them was Asra. He said you'd writhe around and release blood curdling screams when you had one. He had tried to help, but nothing he did could stop the terrors. 

And ,because of that, you devised a spell that would keep anyone else from hearing your screams as you stayed at the palace. You didn't want others to know your weakness. All you had to do was utter the spell once every night, and no one would hear you. 

But last night...... You had forgotten to. 

I wonder how many people had heard. You thought with dread. 

As if seeming to read your mind, Portia said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in the palace heard." in her weak, post-cry voice. 

If possible, your heart sunk even further. 

Portia continued. "I heard your screams at around midnight, and when I finnaly reached your room, there were already people there. Milady and half the palace guard were there. Even Valdemar had shown up to see if you were okay." Something in your chest twisted at that last bit. But Portia continued before you could dwell on it. "Everyone wanted to go in your room to wake you, but milady suggested that we didn't, saying she didn't think you'd want to know that we knew."

You silently thanked Nadia in your head. But then you thought of something, "Wait, then why are you telling me this?" 

She sighed. "I just.... I couldn't keep this from you. You deserve to know. And i also wanted to be able to say this. Im not gonna pry, but if you ever wanna talk, Im here." She gave you a kind smile. 

Your heart filled with aprettiation. "Thank you Portia. Your a good friend." You admitted. 

"Damn straight. " Portia responded with more sass than a drunk Valerieus. 

You both chuckled. 

"Well, we better get going yeah?" Portia asked after straightening your collar. 

You nodded your head, fallowing Portia out of your room and into the arched hallway. 

Your boots clacked against the floor as you and Portia made your way out the palace doors and into the courtyard. 

There awaited a sleek white carriage and horse, with Nadia, Valdemar and Julian waiting patiently beside it. 

All eyes turned to you and Portia as the two of you approached. 

"Hey! Nice uniform" Julian boomed, large hand patting your shoulder. "Looking great"

You guessed no one told Julian what had happened. 

"Yes, I believe it fits quite nicely." Nadia gave you a smile. You were glad to find that her gaze didn't hold pity like the guards and servants you had passed on the way there had, but instead held genuine concern. "Good morning y/n" 

"Good morning Nadia." You returned her smile. 

You then turned you attention towards Valdemar, their mask over there face and fingers steepled in front of them. 

Their blood red gaze held something different, eyes shinning with an emotion you couldn't quit place. 

Their eyebrows weren't raised with amusement like they usually were, instead resting calmly above their eyes.

If you had to dub their expression, you'd have probably gone with 'neutral'. It wasn't a usual expression for Valdemar, but it wasn't an un-welcomed one either.

Julian and Nadia discussed witch hospitals to visit for volunteers as Valdemar approached you. 

They loomed over you with their imposing hieght. 

"Red?" They asked, motioning to your uniform. 

"Yes" You said simply, hands flattening out the wrinkles in your coat. "Nadia had wanted me to wear it" 

Valdemar nodded, leaning forward to come eye to eye with you. You leaned yourself back as far as possible without falling over. This didn't seem to bother them much as they fallowed your head with theirs. 

Their eyes had obtained their usual gleeful look, eyebrows arched high in amusement. 

You were faintly aware of Julian's booming laughter as he spoke with his sister. 

"Hmmm..... Yes. Yes, I quite like it." Valdemar purred, long fingers reaching out to play with the shoulder of the uniform. They trailed a single finger over your shoulder and up your neck, fiddling with the collar of your lab coat, eyes never leaving yours. "It suits you well, magician." 

Their gaze was teasing almost. 

So you decided to play along, standing straight ,bringing your face closer to Valdemar's, and giving them a playful smile. At this proximity, you could smell Valdemar's scent, a mixture of musty air and sterile medical equipment, a scent you dubbed as purly 'valdemar'. You ,surprisingly, found their scent quite endearing.

"It does, doesn't it." You said with mock narcissism. 

Valdemar seemed exited by your game, eyes widening with barely contained elation and no doubt smiling wide behind their mask. 

"Yes. Your old clothes were too drab." Their hand now layed at the base of your collarbone, playing with the fabric there. 

"Well if you said it, then it must be true Quaestor." You almost laughed at what you said, you were sure your eyes danced with mirth. 

Valdemar let out a small chuckle, "It is true." They said before standing straight once more, eyes still shinning with ammusment. 

"Dully noted." you chuckled as well, before you turned your gaze towards the carriage. 

Nadia had left, and Julian and Portia were in conversation. 

You noticed that the whole time you had talked with Valdemar, they hadn't brought up your night terrors last night. And you were grateful for that. 

You were still weary of them, and you weren't quite ready to let go of the whole 'trying to desect Julian' thing. But they weren't as bad as you previously thought Yes, they were creepy, and their personality was undeniably sadistic and crazy, but they were more tolerable than you thought they'd be. 

And maybe, just maybe, they were starting to rub off on you.   
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That little tid bit ar the beginning was my interpretation of what waking up is like. 
> 
> Oh, and sorry to anyone of you who wanted to wear a dress. No dresses. Just pants. Lol. Anyways, tell me what you think <3


	5. Carriages and waiting rooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit this took me forever. I really hope yall like this one as much as I do. Anyways, Enjoy >:)

The carriage ride into to town was was utterly ,for lack of a better word, unfomfortabe. 

Though the palace carriages were grand and beautiful on the outside, this particular one was small and cramped on the inside. Each seat barely fit two people, and the space in front of said seats was just enough to fit your legs, no breathing room. 

You remembered the who-sits-where-and-with-whom conversation you had all had before actually getting in the damned thing. 

Portia had demanded she'd go as well. She said it was because she wanted to spend more time with her brother. But with the withering death stares Valdemar was receiving from her, you guessed that she had alterior motives. 

And since Portia also demanded she sit next to Julian, you had gotten stuck with Valdemar. 

And now you sat next to them,  shoulders and thighs flushed together in the most unfomfortabe manner, every bump or sway of the carriage bringing the two of you impossibly close. 

Combine that with the awkward silence and smothering heat, and you had yourself in one uncomfortable situation.

Not to mention Portia's not-so-subtle glares thrown in Valdemar's direction. If looks could kill, Valdemar would have combusted long ago. 

And yet, Valdemar seemed completely unfazed by it all. 

They stared aimlessly out the tiny window, taking in the sight of Vesuvia. 

Your eyes trailed over them. Over the sharp curve of their jaw, hidden under their ever-present mask.  
The small slope of their nose. The laugh lines in the corners of their eyes. The high rise of their cheekbones. The rows of their excellent eyelashes. And the perfect arch of their empecable eyebrows. 

Despite Valdemar's ugly personality ,you had to admit, they were pleasent to look at.  

Tearing your gaze from Valdemar you looked back at Portia and Julian. The ladder was flushed with frustration it seemed, trying to keep his long legs tucked it so as to not touch Valdemar's in any way. Which proved to be harder than it may seem since both Valdemar and Julian were extremely tall with long legs. Portia still had that withering gaze on her face. 

You figured that the only reason she wanted to come along was to keep an eye on Valdemar. 

You sighed quietly to yourself. You decided to drop the thought for now and just rest. The carriage ride was expected to be longer than ususual, since the construction throughout the city blocking off many roads. 

You rested your head against the glass of the small window, staring unseeingly at the city, the gentle rhythmic sound of horse hooves clacking against the pavement lulling you to sleep. 

-//-

You awoke to the sound of aggravated voices. Cracking open your heavy lidded eyes slightly, you saw you were in the motionless carriage, neck aching madly from the position your head had been in. 

You closed your eyes again, not yet ready to wake up, and not bothering to sweep your eyes across the rest of the carriage. You figured the voices you had heard were just from the tail end of a dream.

Until you heard the voices again, this time unmistakably agitated and not from any dream.

"No, don't you touch her" 

"Keep your filthy hands off her!" 

You heard voices that sounded like Portia and Julian say at the same time just before you felt a cool, gentle hand rest upon your shoulder, giving it a light shake. 

"Time to wake up y/n."  The voice sounded like Valdemar's, but it was so softly spoken and non-menacing, that you were sure it couldn't have been them. 

And then, with a huge sway from the carriage, the hand was ripped away from you. 

You opened your eyes just in time to see Portia kicking the  the carriage door open and tossing Valdemar out of it. 

Your eyes widened. You didn't  know Portia had such strength. 

You were slow to react though, still half a sleep, sitting up fully and stretching. 

"Whas goin on?" you slurred, yawning at the end. 

Portia and Julian gave you equally disgusted looks. 

"Dr creep over there thought they'd wake you up." Portia responded, tossing a hand in Valdemar's direction. You turned your gaze towards them, they had stood, brushing dust off of themselves with a rather frustrated look maring their face. 

You raised an eyebrow at Portia. "Why?" It wasn't like Valdemar was trying to dissect you. You didn't quite see the harm in the gesture. 

Portia and Julian seemed caught off guard at your question. They simultaneously turned red in the face, looking away in embarresment. You guessed they didn't have an actual excuse. 

"We just wanted to keep you safe..." Julian said in such a soft voice, you had to strain to hear it.

"While I aprettiate the gesture, I am fully capable of handling myself. " You gave them each a smile. If possible, they reddened even more. "I understand why you don't like Valdemar, but we're here to help people, and fighting amongst one another isn't going to help" 

"Yeah, I Er, I guess your right." Julian stood, ducking his head as to avoid hitting it on the roof of the caraige. He gave you a smile. " let's go" 

You nodded, fallowing him and Portia out of the carriage and into the street side. 

You gave the place a once over. Before you was a three ,maybe four, story tall building, stark white next to the colorful and lively Vesuvian buildings framing it. 

"Amino Medical' sat in large fluid letters upon the wall, a symble of a sheild with a heart in it resting just above.

The road you were on was less lively than the ones downtown. Less citizens communing about.  
The few people that were there had stopped to gawk at the sight of a palace carriage. You decided to ignore their presence.

As you looked around at your surroundings, you once again found yourself gazing at Valdemar. They stood to the side, hands in front of them in their usual manner. 

But their posture was more stiff than usual, shoulders tensed and jaw set. Their gaze darted about in quick ,nervous shifts. And every once in a while, their chest would expand outward quickly and retract just as fast as they let out tense, hurried sigh; only to returned to their rapid sticatto rate of breathing. 

They looked as if they were having a mini panic attack. 

Suddenly, you felt the overwelhming urge to comfort them. Your eye brows furrowed at the thought. 

You shoved the feeling down as you took the large marble steps into the hospital, Valdemar fallowing behind in jerky steps. 

You fallowed Julian and Portia through a large oak door into a white room adorned with chairs and coffee tables. 

The white walls of the room held paintings of various medical equipment and scenes. One painting was a scene of a doctor tending to a young child. You liked that one the most. 

As you admired the artwork, Julian trotted over to a large desk in the corner, talking to a woman behind it. 

Portia had decided to plop into a chair. 

And Valdemar came to stand next to you. 

You saw Portia give you a concerned look, to witch you gave a reasurring one. She nodded hesitantly, turning to play with a golden angle trinket on one of the tables. 

You turned back to Valdemar. If possible, they were even more tense. Their hands were intertwined in front of them ,rather than their usual steepled manner, clutching at each other figitingly. And it seemed as if every bone in their body was tense, like they were lifting something three times their size.  
They stared at the painting on the wall. Their ruby eyes held a subtle panic that most people would've missed. But being an apprentice to Asra had taught you how to pin point even the most slightest of changes in a person, since you often had to do that with the magician when he was being particularly mysterious. 

Valdemar's pupils were blown wide, nearly consuming the whole of their crimson irises. Every so often the under lid of their eye would twitch upward slitghly. 

Combine this with their tense body language, and you were left with a quite shocking revelation. 

For the first time since you'd met them, Valdemar seemed scared. 

Of what you could only imagine. But the thought of it surprised you emensly. 

And with the revelation, came again to you the urge to comfort them. 

The urge was so strong in fact, that you had to stop yourself from reaching out to take Valdemar's hand in your own. 

Every nerve in your body was screaming for you to reach out, burning with desire to touch them. And the thought of denying that urge made you physically sick to your stomach. 

But ,try all your might, your body won. 

Taking on a mind of its own, your hand reached out to rest upon Valdemar's back, rubbing soothing circles and applying slight pressure to alleviate the muscles there from their strain. 

Valdemar looked at you, blinking owlishly. 

But then ,as if an emense weight had been lifted off their shoulders, their entire body relaxed. They gave you an aprettiative look, and you could tell they were smiling under their mask. 

Your lips involuntarily pulled themselves into a smile as you gazed into Valdemar's now relaxed eyes. 

The two of you stayed like that for some time. You didn't know how long the two of you had stayed like that ,with your hand resting at the small of their back. But everything else seemed to slip away. 

You were no longer in the waiting room of a hospital and the pressing matters at hand didn't exist. You were in a place only you and Valdemar knew of. A place that existed solely in the depths of each others eyes. A place with no worries of past or present. 

Here, you weren't magician and doctor, just person and person. 

The moment felt.... Comfortably intimate. 

And at that thought, you pulled away, realizing what it was you two were doing. Valdemar seemed to come to the same realization and turned away. Your cheeks flushed at the thought of being intimate with Valdemar. 

Looking anywhere but at Valdemar you saw Julian still in conversation with the receptionist. And Portia was now toying with three little trinkets instead of one, 

You thanked the gods they hadn't seen you and Valdemar. 

At the thought of them, your eyes trailed towards them once more. 

They were observing the other paintings on the wall now. Their shoulders were now relaxed and their hands sat steepled once more. They had pulled their mask down, resting on the divot below their lip. 

But what caught your eye was their expression. 

They seemed amused. But not like their usual amused, no. 

Their lips were smiling. Not their usual menacing one though. It was still too-wide, but it had lifted slightly up on one side. Their eyebrows sat arched slightly in an opening way. And their eyes shone , their crimson irises no longer a darker red per usual; but rather a vibrant, lively one instead. 

No, it wasn't their usual evil ammusment. 

It was genuine happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, Amino means safe in Arabic.  
> Also fun fact, it took me five hours to come up with that.  
> Anywhooooo, I hope yall enjoyed it. Tell me what you think, comments are always aprettiated.   
> ~Alex~


	6. Gentle crimson pools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to stop writing at three o'clock in the morning. Lol.  
> Enjoy >:)

The room you were currently sitting in was probably the biggest display of narcissism you've ever seen. 

The size itself was sensible. Not too large, but big enough that you didn't feel cramped. And the walls were a simple grey color. 

But that's were the modesty ended. 

The part of the room opposite of the door you had just entered was slightly raised in a podium like manner. Upon it was a large and elegantly carved mahogany desk; dark, sleek wood holding piles of books, papers, and portfolios. 

Two marble statues cornered behind the desk; tall and smooth. And both of them ,much like the many paintings framed upon the walls, depicted a very flatering image of the women sitting behind the mahogany desk. The same woman who owned the very hospital you stood in. 

Doctor Anika Amino. 

The woman herself was quite the spectical to rest your eyes upon. Her hair was a rich brown, much like the mahogany desk she sat behind; framing her face in gentle waves. A long, tan face adorned with piercing emerald eyes and a slim nose. Her lips were a deep red and plump. She seemed to be quite tall, maybe an inch or two more than yourself. 

The doctor's long fingers rested under her chin as she leveled you and your companions with a vaguely amused gaze. 

You, Valdemar and Julian had just entered the room, since Portia had decided to stay out. None of you had moved, standing quite awkwardly in an almost embarrassingly narcissistic room. 

You decided the woman was a stranger to modesty. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you read Valdemar and Julian's body language. 

Julian seemed tense and uncomfortable in the woman's presence. While Valdemar seemed bored with the whole situation entirely. 

And you? Well you were too busy wondering why this woman seemed so partial to see her face. Sure, it was a nice face. But it held a curtain.... bitch quality to it. 

You decided you didn't quite like her face. 

Turning your gaze back to doctor Amino, you watched as she racked her eyes over the three of you. 

She started with Julian. 

"So, the man who claimed to murder the count himself." Her voice was filled with sickening smugness. You didn't like her voice either. "Nice to meet your aquantince, doctor Devorak" 

Julian figgited at the woman's greedy gaze. She didn't seem to mind hiding her stares. 

"And to you as well. Doctor Amino." He responded tentatively. 

She nodded, gaze trailing towards Valdemar.

"And you must be Queaster Valdemar. It's hard to mistake those head wraps of yours." She said in the most bogus condescending voice. You could tell she was trying to assert superiority. It wasn't working. "Tell me docter, why the wraps? They are quite the.... shall I say, different fashion statement. " 

Your brows furrowed at the woman's question. That was the worst way to greet someone if you'd ever heard one. 

Valdemar gave the woman an evil look. "Got to have some way to hide the horns ,no? Although, you seem to hide yours quite well. You'll have to teach me your ways" 

An assortment of expressions crossed the woman's face at Valdemar's jest. At first confusion, then recognition, then embarasment, and finally, incredulousness. 

You couldn't help your self. You snorted. 

You instantly shut your mouth, trying your hardest not to laugh.

The woman's eyes snapped towards you, causing you to straighten your face, and giving you a threatening look. 

But as her eyes trailed over your body, they shifted into amusement and a smirk grazed her lips. 

The woman stood, long legs carying her off the raised part of the room. Once she stood, you could see her outfit more clearly. She wore quite the revealing silk dress that left little to the imagination. And her white lab coat hung off her shoulders in the same manner Julian's did. 

Her hips swayed as she apoached you, heels clicking against the wooden floor. 

She was indeed taller than you, only by maybe two inches. But nonetheless, you had to look up to her. And you didn't like that. Her height gave her a foux sence of superiority over you. 

You squared your shoulders and set your face, giving the woman an emotionless look. 

"And who might you be, doll?" She purred. You almost cringed at that. 

"I'm y/n, the palace magician. I am here at the request of the Countess." You said in the most steely voice possible. 

"Oh what a voice. Quite the change from that snort you have earlier." She smirked even more, trailing a single finger over your jaw. "Well ,besides that, im glad the Countess sent you. You're quite the charming magician." 

She trailed her hand over your shoulder as she bit her lip. Her eyes trailed over you again. "Yes. You are mighty fine" 

You wanted the woman to move. You didn't like her touching you either. Taking advantage of Arika being too ocupied with your body to look at your face, you shot your eyes towards your companions. 

Julian's eyes were wide with shock. 

But Valdemar bore an expression entirely different from his. Their brows were set low and furrowed, eyes glaring sharply at doctor Amino. And although they had their mask on, you were sure they were frowning. 

You coaght their gaze, giving them a pleading look. They seemed to get the hint. 

Their gloved hand reached out and grabed Arika's hand ,which had moved to rub circles on your bicept, and riped it away from you. 

Doctor Amino gave them an increulous look. Which soon morfed into one of fear as Valdemar took a step foward, bringing their bodies just a hair apart and looming over them. 

The look Valdemar gave them was withering. 

"We did not come here to entertain you doctor Amino" They basically spit her title out. "We came here for buissness. And I'd aprettiate it if you could remain professional." 

The shorter doctor gulped, nodding vigorously. 

"Good" Valdemar said in a sing song voice, head cocking to the side as they dropped her hand. 

Arika cleared her throught as she nearly ran back to behind her desk. "Why don't you guys sit." 

As you went to sit, you sneaked an aprettiative look towards Valdemar. 

Their crimson eyes crinkled at the ends as they gave you that genuin smile from behind their mask, giving you a nod. 

You smiled back as you joined them on a plush couch, ready for the meeting. 

-//-

You streched your limbs as you stepped out into the cool night air, letting out a monstrous yawn.

You had just exited the sixth hospital your companions and you had visited today. And you were drained. 

Most of the hospital heads had agreed, sending a band of their doctors to work with the group. Which Julian had named, "The Médecins de Voyage" 

You thought it was a dumb name. But you didn't mention it, not wanting to damage his pride. 

You heard the scuff of shoes on concrete behind you. 

You turned to find Valdemar aproaching. They had their mask pulled down and they wore an amussed look on their face. 

"Fatigued?" They commented on your yawn. 

You simply nodded, too tired to respond properly. 

Their red eyes twinkled with genuin mirth. Since you had seen a sliver of their genuin emotions earlier, it was easier to pinpoint when their expressions were fake or not. 

"Well then, let's go. Doctor 069 is just finalizing some things with the hospital head and he'll be out." Without another word, they took the crook of your elbow in their hands and pulled you towards the carraige. 

Inside was an already sleeping Portia. And as you sat down next to Valdemar, her peacefull position seemed to drawl you more and more into the blissful emptiness of sleep. 

You could barely keep your eyes open when you felt a leathered hand on you head, pulling you into a comfortable shoulder. 

Your half asleep self failed to recognize Valdemar's soft voice. 

"Rest now, y/n" They purred gently, running their fingers through your hair. 

You hummed contently, nuzzling further into your head rest. 

You inhaled deeply, the sent of steril medical equipment lulling you to sleep, where you dreamt of gloved hands and gentle, crimson pools.  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name of the medical group means the traveling doctors. Boring. I know.   
> Oh, and Valdemar doesn't really have horns. Not in this fic.   
> Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed. comment below what ya think.  
> ~Alex~


	7. Enjoy the company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *suggestive themes yall*  
> Woohooo, another chapter!  
> Enjoy >:)

THUD. THUD. THUD. 

The pound of your slipper-covered feet resonated through your body and off the walls as you sprinted through the grand hallways of the palace. 

You cursed yourself for being late. 

You were SUPPOSED to be at a counsil meeting. 35 minutes ago. 

Nadia had scheduled the meeting for in the morning that day, with the promise of a complementary breakfast. 

And you were terribly late. 

Since your nightmares had been plentiful the night before, your body was too drained to wake up at the right time. 

And so now you ran the halls of the palace in your fluffy bunny slippers and night clothes. Which consisted of a blood red robe thrown over a white tank top and silk shorts that were WAY too short for an audience. So short in fact, that the robe surpased them in length. But you didn't have time to worry about that, you had to get to the meeting. 

Your limbs ached with the effort of running while you wondered how large the palace was. You didn't remember the treck to the meeting room ever taking this long. 

Every so often you'd pass a servant while you bounded down the halls, earning you questioning looks. 

 

At one point, you passed Portia. She gave you a raised eyebrow and hailed you down, to which you just kept running, offering her a, "Can't talk. Late for meeting!" 

You heard her laughter even as you turned a corner.

You sprinted down the hallway as you aproached the last corner. 

You rounded the corner, determined to make it to the meeting. But ,suddenly, something stopped you. 

Or ,more specifically, a body. 

You had ran face first into someone's chest. 

You heard the person grunt just before your momentum slammed the two of you into the floor with a loud thud. 

You layed there, head burried in someone's chest and legs tangled with their own. 

You groaned in a mixture of pain and embarasment. 

"Christ, watch were your..." The person stopped themselves. "Oh. Hello y/n" 

....

That voice. 

You snapped your head up to come face to face with none other than Valdemar. 

The doctor was giving you a questioning yet amused look behind their mask. Your face flushed a darker red than your robe. 

You pressed your hands onto Valdemar's chest and pushed; sitting yourself up, legs subconsciously stradling their waist. 

You were sure you looked a mess. With your hair matted and damp from the sweat that now coated your body. And your robe that had slipped off your left shoulder, hanging past your elbow and revealing your tank top. And your not-so-appropriate shorts that were now showing because the bottom of your robe had fallen to the outer sides of your thighs. 

"Hello Queastor." You said back, voice hoarse from your run. "Sorry for tackling you." 

They chuckled, sitting up to rest themselves on their elbows. 

"Its quite alright. Late for the meeting were we?" They said in a playful tone, no doubt smilling behind their mask. Their question was accented with a tilt of their head. 

"Uh, yeah..." You paused, furrowing your eyebrows. "Wait... if the meetings still going, why are you out here?" 

"Ah, yes. I had gone to look for you. The countess was starting to worry that you had died." You chuckled at Valdemar's horrific Nadia impression. Valdemar started to laugh with you, and soon enough, the both of you were weezing with hysteria, tears streaming down your faces. 

You didn't know why you found it so funny, but you almost couldn't breath with how hard you were laughing. And by the looks of it, Valdemar wasn't fairing any better. Their head was thrown back, letting out unrestrained bouts of laughter. 

One of their hands gripped your arm, leathered fingers cluching at your forearm to steady themselves. 

Their laughter wasn't what you thought it'd be, like an evil malicious laugh. No, it was loud and carefree and melodious. 

You decided you liked Valdemar's laugh. 

"Oh goodness." You giggled, wiping the years from your eyes. "Well good thing I'm not dead huh?"

Valdemar let out one last chuckle.

"Yes, that is good." Their voice changed at that, deepening into a serious tone. They gave you a look, eyes holding an emotion you couldn't quite place. "If I'm to be honest y/n. I'm glad that you're okay." Their voice was almost a wisper at this point. 

You stared at each other, neither saying a word. You got lost in those crimson eyes again, being in that different world once more. 

You felt a touch on your thigh. Valdemar's gloved hand had reached out to carress your leg just under your shorts, rubbing the spot with feather light touches. 

"I'm glad that I'm okay too..." You wispered back. 

You didn't notice you had leaned into them. You were just an inch apart, their breath seeping through their mask, witch smelled suprisingly like mint. Your left hand had gone to resting on their belly, the other on their shoulder. 

You could tell they were smilling behind their mask, a carefree and joyful smile. And you were just iching to see it. 

And so ,like the other day, your body took on a mind of its own. Your hand reached up towards Valdemar's face slowly, so as to not scare them away. 

You felt the hand at your thigh stop as your own reached its destination, resting on Valdemar's cheek.

And all the while you stared into their eyes, and they into yours. 

You silently asked for permission with your eyes.

And with a subtle nod, Valdemar consented. 

You slipped a finger under the mask, brushing along their cold skin. 

You pulled down slowly. And inch by inch, Valdemar let you pull their mask away. 

You didn't miss the subtle cring they let out as they breathed in the fresh air. You found it amusing. 

"Hi..." You wispered, smilling gently. 

"Hi" They spoke back. They smilled at you, tilting their head in that in-human like fashion. "Happy now?" 

You chuckled slightly. "Yes. That mask of yours is most unkind to your face" 

Valdemar gasped in fake offece. "How dare you. My mask is beautiful!" They said in a high piched voice. You laughed at their incredulous facial expression. "I should have you strapped down to a medical table and cut open for that comment" 

You bit your lip and ,out of no where, your voice dropped to a seductive tone as you leaned forward. "Maybe you should.....doctor" Your lips pulled themselves into a smirk. 

It only took you a second to realize what you just said. 

And once you did, you pulled back with lightning speed, face redening like a tomato. 

Valdemar seemed shocked at first, but once they regained themselves, they leaned forward, a grin on their face. 

Your heart beat sped up as they came within an inch of your face, hand now gripping your thigh in a perposfull yet gentle hold. 

"As much of a sight as that would be...." They licked their lips, sharp teeth glinting in the light. "....I'd much rather prefer you alive and moaning, than dead and motionless." 

You gulped as you felt Valdemar's hand creep past your shorts. "Yeah, me too..." You wispered. 

But then you stopped. What were you doing? 

Here you were, stradling someone who had almost killed your best friend, on the hallway floor of the palace, with their hand very nearly touching your jewels. 

You coughed nervously, pulling away. 

"We should, um, we should head inside the meeting room." You managed to stutter out around the lump in your throught. 

Valdemar gave you a gentle smile. "Yes. We should. " 

And so you stood, helping Valdemar off the floor and heading towards the meeting room door. 

As you walked, you couldn't help but think about what had just happened. 

With Valdemar's creepy personality and sadistic ways, it was hard to say, and you hated to admit it. 

But you had enjoyed the company.  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW WAS THAT GUYS?! Pretty steamy huh? ;)  
> I reaaaaaaly enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope y'all loved it.  
> Oh also. Yes, I realize I've kinda been putting off on the aprentices actual thoughts and feelings on valdemar. Don't worry, we'll elaborate on that soon.  
> But until then, comment what ya think.  
> ~Alex~


	8. Suture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, long chapter. Sorry, got a little carried away. :3  
> Anyways, Enjoy. >:)

"AAAAAAAAAAH!!" 

You winced at the blood curdling scream. 

You were surprised you hadn't gone deaf yet. 

You were currently sitting on top of a man. On a moving strecher. Holding your hands over the gaping would in his stomache. 

And the man had been screaming for the past two minutes. 

And ,as bad of a thought as it was, you were wishing he would just pass out from the pain. 

"Sir, I'm going to need you to stay still while we try to find a doctor." You tried to calm the man. 

He nodded his head. You could tell he was trying not to, but he screamed in pain yet again. 

You sighed. "Where are all the doctors?!" You asked one of the volunteer nurses pushing the strecher. 

The man gave you a hopeless look, "They all seem to be busy ma'am." 

You groaned. 

Here you were, in the middle of a small army of doctors, and all of them were busy. 

A building HAD collapsed though. It made sence they were all busy. 

Your eyes scanned the area frantically. You saw strechers of injured people scattered about, and more than a few dazed people aimlessly walking around. You also saw doctors running around, tending to patients here and there. 

But ,as the nurse had said, they were all busy.

Then ,suddently, the screaming that had been coming from the man under you ceased.

You looked down to see his head had lulled to the side. 

And his chest wasn't moving. 

With your free hand, you checked his pulse. 

Nothing. 

"Ah crap." You grapped the female nurses attention. "You, keep your hand over his wound." 

She nodded, hands going to apply pressure to the man's stomache as you started compressions on his chest. 

"C'mon" You gritted through your teeth. 

You felt a panic surge through you, gripping your heart in an icy hold. 

You could only imagin how you looked, with blood smattered up your arms, on your chest, and across your face. 

You looked to the male nurse again. "Are you sure Dr. Devorak can't help?" You were aware of the slight quiver in your voice. 

"He's in a surgery ma'am." 

"Dammit!" Both of the nurses flinched at the agrivation in your voice. 

You were trying to keep your panic at bay, but the man under you was dying and there was no one to help. 

You scanned the area once more, searching for anyone who could help. 

Soon, your eyes locked with crimson ones, and you were looking at Valdemar. 

Despite the fact that they were elbows deep in someones stomach, they stopped what they were doing. Hailing over another doctor to take over their work, they trotted over to you. 

"I-I need help doctor." You said, out of breath. 

Their eyebrows rose, "Yes, I can see that." They grabbed ahold of the strecher and ,talking to the nurses, said, "Let's get to a more private area, yes?" To which they nodded. 

And so you and the man were wheeled into a makeshift tent, where you were joined by another doctor and three other nurses. 

"Someone take over the compresions." Valdemar said, their voice taking on a very head-physician-type tone. 

You stepped off the strecher as a nurse took over the chest compressions. 

As you backed away, Valdemar and the other doctor prepared for surgery. 

You were still a bit paniced, heart racing and breaths rapid and shallow. You took of a glove and ran your hand through your damp hair, letting out a shaky breath. 

You tried taking deep breaths to calm yourself. But ,for some reason, no matter what you did, your hands shook and you couldn't brush off the fight-or-flight reaction your body was having. 

Valdemar's brows furrowed as they glanced over at you, eyes holding concern.

"Doctor, start the surgery without me. I'll return shortly." They said to the other doctor as they stepped away to aproach you. 

"What seems to be the problem, y/n?" They asked as you paced back and forth. 

You suddenly felt hot and cramped. "I-I don't know. I just c-can't calm down." You sighed shakely. 

Valdemar gabbed hold of your shoulders, stopping your pacing and forcing you to look up at them. 

"It's completely normal, it happens in situations like these. Just calm down okay?" Their voice was soft as they spoke. 

But despite that, you still couldn't calm down. You fidgeted in their grasp. 

"I just can't okay?!" You yelled at them, eyes and pupils blown wide in panic. 

Valdemar seemed unaffected by your hysteria.

"Y/n, look at me." They said, leaning down to become eye level with you. 

You looked into their blood red eyes. 

"Just calm down doll." They wispered. 

They brought their gloved hands up to carress your cheeks, effectively smearing blood along your jaw. 

But despite that; their gentle touch, clean smell and soft words calmed you. 

You sighed deeply as your heart rate slowed.

"Sorry Queastor, I just, um, I just thought he was gonna die. I guess that scared me a bit." You took in a deep breath. 

"It's quite alright dear." Valdemar said, eyes crinkling in a smile. "And please, call me Valdemar. Enough with this "queastor" nonesense." 

You chuckled as the doctor straightened themself to their full height. "Whatever you say....Valdemar" The name rolled off your tounge effortlessly. 

"Good. Now, if you'd care to learn a thing or two, you can join in on the operarion?" They inquired, raising a perfectly trimed eyebrow. 

You gave the question some thought. On one hand, you were in no hurry to see the man die if the surgery went awry. But on the other, you were curious to see how it worked. 

It wouldn't hurt to learn a few things would it? And besides, you had already sat on the man for the better part of ten minutes, might as well stick around for a few more. 

"Alright." You agreed, giving Valdemar a smile. 

"Good. Although, you'll need a mask." Their crimsin eyes scanned the tent. "There doesn't seem to be any around. You can borrow mine for now." 

They brought their hands up to untie their mask, letting it slip from their face to reveal their mouth and nose. 

They gestured for you to lift your chin, to which you complied. They placed the mask in place and tied it behind your head, touch lingering for a moment. 

You inhaled deeply, Valdemar's indearing sent invading your sences. 

You felt a hand grasp your arm, and you were led to the surgery table, were you stood by Valdemar. 

The other doctor glanced at you, raising an eyebrow. He looked as if he was going to object your presence. But Valdemar gave him a pointed look before he could utter any words. 

He cleared his throught. "It seems as if he's been impaled by some wooden object, if the chunks of wood in his abdomen are anything to go by." He demonstrated by plucking a piece out of the man's guts. "He's got alot of eternal bleeding, but we can't close untill the wood is out. He'll probably need a blood transplant after all this is done, with all the blood he's loosing." 

Valdemar gave a curt nod, grabbing a pair of tweezers. "Right. Y/n, grab those towels." They gestured to a stack of thin white towels. 

You did as instucted, turning back to Valdemar to find them pulling back a clump of guts. 

You were surprisingly calm at the sight of the man's guts being pulled about. 

They gestured to the now open spot, "Now, put as many towels in there as you comfortably can. This will help stop some bleeding and make it easier for us to see what we're doing." 

You nodded, storing the newfound information away in your head and leaning over to push a handful of towels into the hole.

"Thank you." Valdemar said. You nodded. 

Valdemar then went to work, proding around in the man's insides and pulling out pieces of wood. The other doctor had taken to stiching the puncture holes on the walls of the man's intestines that the wood had left behind. 

You glanced at Valdemar. Their lips held a smile, and their eyes glinted with glee. 

They glanced back at you. You flushed at being caught staring. 

They grinned. "Would you like to help dear?" They asked in a playful tone, gesturing to another pair of tweezers. 

"Uh, sure." You answered hesitantly, reaching over to grab the tweezers. You could feel Valdemar's eyes on you. 

Your stomache twisted in nervousness. You didn't want to be the reason this man died. 

You closed your eyes, inhaling Valdemar's scent from their mask.

And your nerves instantly went away. You trusted that Valdemar would guide you. 

They stepped to the side as you aproached the man's wound, hand poised above the gaping hole. 

"First things first," Valdemar's voice came from beside you. " Find the wood. Do not be afraid to prod around and move the man's intestines. It will cause no lasting effect." 

You nodded, taking a deep breath. 

You used your free hand to push a lump of flesh aside to reveal a long thin splinter hanging out the other side of it. 

"You found one, good. Now make sure that when you pull the splinter out, you pull it out the way it came in. Do not tilt it when pulling out. This will prevent any further damage." 

You nodded at Valdemar's instrustions. You took hold of the flesh, holding it in place as you slowly but surly pulled the splinter out. Once it was out, you set it in a tray off to the side.

You glanced at Valdemar to see a sharp toothed smile form across their face, eyes dancing with glee. 

You smiled back at them. There was a curtian thrill in working on another's body that you couldn't deny you enjoyed. 

"You seem to have a steady hand y/n. That's good. Now, let's rid this man of the rest of the wood shall we?" 

And so you, Valdemar, and the other doctor went to work at the man, pulling free all wood and stiching his intestines up. 

Every once in a while, they would share a piece of knowledge with you, which you would store in your head with the other information. 

Valdemar seemed excited that you were willing to learn, taking every chance they got to teach you something. 

And you had to admit, you enjoyed learning it all. 

When it came to the end of the surgery with only the last gaping whole to stitch up, Valdemar asked the other doctor and nurses to leave. 

And you were left alone with them. 

"Why'd you ask them to leave?" You asked the tall doctor, eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. 

Valdemar's eyes flashed with mischief. 

"So I could teach you how to stitch." They said with a sharp smile. "You are going to do the final closing stitches." 

Your eyes widened. "N-no, Valdemar. I couldn't possibly do that, I'd probably mess something up. You should do it." You said all in one breath. 

"Nonesence. You've watched me stitch. You already know the basics. And I'll help you along the way. You'll do it." They said, already busying themselves with grabbing suplies. 

Valdemar really doesn't know how to take 'no' for an answer, do they? 

The doctor turned back towards you with the materials you'd need. They handed you the needle driver, forseps, and the needled thread. All of which they had taught you about previously. 

You took the needle driver with your dominate hand, and the forseps with your other. 

But before you could do anything, you felt hands snake around your waist to rest flat-Palmed on the table before you. And the front of a body press ,flush, against your back. 

You turned your head to find Valdemar, giving you a gentle smile. 

"Don't worry doll. I'll be right here to help." They moved their left hand off the table to rest on your waist, rubbing gentle circles with their gloved thumb. 

You were reminded with just how tall Valdemar was when they rested their head on your own with ease. 

"Go on, love." They whispered. 

You gulped at the pet name. Love? You sighed, deciding to deal with it later. 

You used the needle driver to pick up the curved needle. Remembering the way Valdemar had positioned their hand whilst they stitched, you did the same; positioning the needle above the man's skin. 

You felt Valdemar give you an aproving squeeze on your hip. 

So you continued, driving the needle through the man's skin and out on the other side of the hole with one sweeping motion of your hand. 

You then tuged the needle the rest of the way through, pulling the thread with it, and tied it off. 

"Good." You heard Valdemar say. 

And so you continued, slowly pulling the walls of the wound together. 

Throughout the process, Valdemar had moved both hands to your waist and ,every once in a while, would give you an encouraging hip squeeze. 

At one point, they had moved their head to your shoulder, wispering gentle praises of your work into your ear. 

You hated to admit that you loved the attention Valdemar was giving you.

And soon enough, the wound was closed. 

Once you tied off the last stitch, Valdemar inspected your work as you pulled their mask from your face.

"Good suture. Doctor grade handling. You are a fast learner, my little doctor." Valdemar praised. 

You chuckled at the name they had given you. "Your little doctor huh?" You asked, playfully. "I'm not that little, fully grown in fact." 

Valdemar simply raised an eybrow as they stepped towards you, causing you to tilt you head up a fair deal. 

You caughed, looking away. "I stand corrected." You admitted.

They laughed that melodious laugh of theirs. "Indeed." 

You chuckled with them. "Fine. I guess I'm your little doctor." They seemed to aprove of your consent. "Under one condition." 

They raised an eyebrow as they cleaned up the medical supplies. You decided to help them. 

"Oh? And what would that be?" They inquired. 

"I get to call you Val." You said as you set a pile of towels on a rack. "It's not quite the mouthful as Valdemar is." You explained. 

Valdemar's brows furrowed in thought. 

After awhile they said, "Hmmmm, fair enough. Yes. Sounds like a deal.... my little doctor." They stuck their hand out. 

You chuckled as you took their leathered hand in your own. 

"Deal."   
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's learn medical terms!  
> Needle driver - just imagin if tweezers and scissors had a bady   
> Forceps - fancy word for tweezers.   
> Disclaimer~ I'm not a doctor, I had to watch videos on how to properly suture to know this crap.   
> Also, is you plan on watching those videos, i suggest the banana one of you have a weak stomach.   
> Alsoooi~ do you guys like the longer or shorter chapters? Let me know down below   
> ~Alex~


	9. Bathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one isn't as long guys.   
> Enjoy >:)

The clack of your leather boots bounced off the grand walls of the palace. 

Your muscles ached with every movement, screaming in objective protest. 

Today had been a long day. 

And after spending hours taking care of patients and performing surgeries with Valdemar, you were ready to crash. 

But first ,you decided, you'd take a bath. Wouldn't do to go to sleep with dried blood all over you. 

And so ,with only the sound of your clacking boots to acompany you, you headed to your room to change into your bathing robe and grab your night clothes. 

As you were exiting your chambers, you spotted Portia headed straight for you. 

"Just the person I was looking for." She sayed with a cheeky wink . 

"Hey Portia." You said with a tired smile. "Why were you looking for me?" You inquired. 

"Well i heard what happened today; and I figured, after all that work, you'd want a bath. So I readied that baths with plenty of hot water." She explained. 

"Oh. Thank you Portia, I apretiate it." You said just befor letting out a monstrous yawn. 

She giggled. 

"No problem y/n. Now, I'll be seeing you. Have a good night." She said before walking off in the opposite direction. 

You smiled. You really did enjoy your friendship with Portia. 

And with that thought, you started heading towards the baths, your bunny slippers scuffing against the marble floor. 

Once you finally made it there, the fog from inside the room seeped out as you opened the door. 

You let out a content sigh. The bath sounded rather enticing right now. 

So, you placed your clothes on a nearby bench, and climbed into the large bathtub. 

The hot water encased itself around you with the sound of sloshing water, easing the pain away from your muscles and warming you instantly. 

You sighed once more. This was much needed. 

For a moment you sat there, back against the wall and head leaned back, bath robe fluttering in the water. 

After a long day of hard work, your muscles eased with content. 

You started rubbing the dried blood off of you, in result turning the bath water a faded pink. 

You reached for your bar of soap, running the slick bar over your skin. 

And as you washed yourself, you also thought. 

What exactly were your feelings towards Valdemar? 

You enjoyed being around them, that much was clear. And you liked to learn from them. You found that it was easy to learn these new and interesting topics with them. 

They often made it fascinating to learn medical things. 

And ,for some reason, you felt a lot more comfortable with Valdemar than you really should. 

They were dangerous right? They had tried to kill your best friend! So shouldn't you be trying to avoid them at all costs? 

And their sadistic personality was less than apealing, the way they enjoyed death, and the pain of others. But then again, liking death a little more than others wasn't a crime. 

But trying to kill someone is, you thought to yourself. 

You thought back to the first time you properly met them, when they had taken you to the dungeons. 

Uou noticed a substantial difference in their attitude since then. 

Then, they were scary and imposing, their more sadistic nature seeping through the cracks. 

But now? You couldn't deny, they still had sadistic tendencies. But now, they weren't as bad. I'm fact, they seemed to be a decent person. 

Only with you though, you speculated. 

It was true. Valdemar was only that way with you. With anyone else they, were as cold and detached as ever. In fact, you noticed it was substantially harder for Valdemar to hold conversations with others, as they always seemed disinterested in what the other has to say. 

But they could hold hour long conversations with you. What was that about? 

And ,you had to admit, you found it easier to hold conversation with them as well. There was just something about them that was so welcoming to you, even if it might not be that way for others. 

And not to mention the amount of touching Valdemar did. They invaded your personal space a lot more than they did with others, leaning in close or touching you for no reason.

They were also inexplicably nicer to you than anyone else. This was obvious when they let you join in on their sugeries, even if you weren't a licenced doctor. Or when they let you wear their mask. Or even when they called you pet names like dear, and love. Or when they smiled at you like your precense made them the happiest person on earth. 

And especially when they looked deep into your eyes like you were the only thing that mattered. 

You stopped.

For a second there, it sounded like you were describing your own feelings. 

You scoffed. No way. No, you did not think of the doctor like that. You couldn't. It was strictly platonic. And that's all they felt for you. And even that was pushing it. You couldn't like them like that. Right? 

Oh but the way they looked at you gave you butterflies in your stomache. And their deep crimson eyes were the best sight to gaze upon. And their laugh ,gosh, their laugh was so beautiful, just like their smile. And the pet names they gave you could really burn a fire in your belly. 

You frowned at the thought. While you hated to admit it, it was true. All of it was. 

And with that realization, came another, devastating one. 

Valdemar had complete control over your heart. And there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it if they decided to break it. 

So right then and there ,in the baths room of the palace, in the steamy hot water, You pledged to stay as far away from them as possible. 

It was in the best interest for you fragil little heart. One could only take so much heart break before it totally destroyed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was more of a filler chapter, but still important to the story. Sorry it took so long to come out, after last undates montorous chapter, I thought I'd take a break. Also, classes just started, so it's hard to fit time in. The next chapter will come out fast, and longer, to make up for this one lol.   
> Untill then, stay safe!   
> ~Alex~


	10. A/N

Hey guys.  
This isn't an update, obviously.  
I wanted to apologize for not updating. I haven't had internet.  
I also have been dealling wth a lot of personal crap. I haven't been feeling myself latley :(.  
I kinda just feel depresed all the time.  
.  
But fear not, I'll try to keep the strory up. Since I know a lot of you would be upset if I dropped it.  
Im going to continue the story, since I've been inspired by a winking Valdemar sprite lol. But ,since I have classes, the updates will be more spaced. So don't freak out and think I've suddently dropped the story. I will not do that without telling you guys.  
.  
And to anyone who's fallowed this story and stuck around, THANK YOU. Your comments and kudos keep me motivated more than you could ever know, so thank you so much.  
.  
The next chapter should be out tonight. ENJOY >:)  
.  
~Alex~


	11. Weak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP A CHAPTER! I'm SO sorry this tool so long. I hope this makes up for it? ? Anyways, Enjoy >:)

The silence that wrapped around you and the other people in the council room was almost maddening.

And the tension in the room was so thick, you were sure you could cut it with a knife. 

You held in an anoyed sigh. 

You had arrived to the meeting twenty minutes ago. But the meeting had yet to start. 

Why? 

Because someone had neglected to show up. 

Who? 

None other than Valdemar, of course. 

And Nadia had refused to start the meeting without them. So here you all sat, listening to the clock tick the time away and staring into nothing as you waited. 

It was quite anoying. 

You heard a sigh from across the table, your eyes followed the sound to find Valerius looking none to happy. 

He took a bored sip of his wine. "It's quite obvious they aren't going to show up, your grace." 

Nadia gave the consul a leveling gaze, to which he stared emotionlessly back. 

She sighed. "If it troubles you so much consul, I shall send y/n to fetch them." You heart sank at her words as she turned towards you. "Would you be so kind as to do that for me? I believe they're in the dungeons" 

You wanted to say no, to refuse. But you knew it was slightly your fault that Valdemar had not shown up. 

You sighed. "Of course m'lady" 

Nadia gave you an apretiative smile as you stood to exit the meeting room. 

As you stepped out into the vacant hall, you couldn't help but feel guilty. 

For the past week and a half you had been avoiding Valdemar as much as possible. 

You declined any offer to join their sugeries. And you made sure to never be alone with them. 

As a result of your cold demeaner, they became cold as well. 

They didn't talk to you, or offer to let you participate in sugeries. They also didn't make physical contact with you, ever. Or make eye contact.

Their eyes had lost that almost affectionate spark they had grown to show while interacting with you. Instead holding the same un-revealing stare that everone else got. 

It hurt more than you'd like to admit, twisting your heart in a vice-like grip of pain. But it was for the best. 

You sighed as you trekked down the palace halls. 

This was going to be one tension filled meeting. 

-

The stench of death invaded your sences as you entered the dungeons. 

You placed the torch you had grabbed in a nearby torch-holder. 

Your eyes swept across the main room and ,easily enough, found Valdemar standing by the main operating table in the middle. 

But the sight wasn't exactly what you were hoping to see. 

Laying on the table, was a man. A man ,you noticed, that was still alive. 

He was strapped to the table, limbs pulling at the restraints weakly. And he had a gag in his mouth, that muffled his screams. 

As you took a step closer, you could see why the man was screaming. 

His chest and stomach were cut wide open, the flaps of his skin held to the side with medical clamps as Valdemar poked and prodded at his insides. 

The sight didn't disgust you as much as you thought it would. 

You took a step closer, only a foot from the raised dias. "Um, Valdemar?" 

Their head snapped in your direction with such speed, you were suprised they hadn't broken their neck. 

You almost fliched at the sharp, un-masked smile they have you. Their crimson eyes held an evil and sadistic frenzy in them. 

You held the gaze firmly. 

"Come to see the show y/n? Come come, stand by me won't you?" With a hand full of guts, they gestured to the spot beside them, causing splots of blood to fly through the air and onto the objects nearby. 

You stepped up the raised dias, step by step. 

Once you reached the doctors side, you could see ,in defined detail, the blood and guts smeared across them and on the table. The man's intestines were all jumbled about, spilling over the sides of his opened stomach and squirming around. 

Said man let out a muffled groan of pain, his head lolling around aimlessly. 

"The countess is looking for you doctor. You failed to arrive at the counsil meeting." You forced yourself not to look at the Queastor as you uttered the words. 

You felt their eyes on you as you spoke. 

"Oh? That was today?" You felt their gaze drift away from you as they continued their work. "I guess I had forgotten." Their voice held mock innocence. 

You almost snorted at the statement. You new it was a lie, but you decided not to comment on it. 

"Well either way, we should head up there." You said as Valdemar reached over to a tray beside the operating table and picked up a strange looking device. 

It looked like a more graceful pair of pliers. The sleek metal that was often recognised with medical equipment bent into two curved handles. You recognized the device as rib shears. 

"Oh but the fun is just beginning" Valdemar said with a toothy smile as they snipped the shears playfully, much like one would with scissors. 

Before you you could respond, they already had the end of the shears wrapped around the man's bottom most rib. And with one swift squeeze, the rib snapped with a sickening crack. 

Valdemar chuckled at the man's muffled scream that fallowed. 

"Here we get to see what a weakened heart looks like." They said malicously as they broke away rib by rib, each crack fallowed my a ever weakening scream and a tug of the straps. 

You couldn't help the ever growing morbid curiousity as the man's chest was revealed rib by broken rib. 

Soon enough you were leaning over the body in anticipation. 

You could see his inflating and deflating lungs, and his weakly pumping heart. 

"Fascinating, isn't it." Valdemar said as they also admired the inner workings of the man's chest. 

At this point, he had passed out from the pain. So the only sound that came from him was the constant thump of his heart. 

You nodded absentmindedly at Valdemar's question. 

"This man suffers from a weak cariovascular system." Valdemar informed as they inspected the man's insides. "You can see the weak pulses of his heart. A normal heart would be pumping twice as hard." 

You nodded as you indead noticed the weak up and down movement of the small heart. The man had an almost zero chance at life now, you realized somewhat solemnly. 

"What are you going to do with it now?" You asked Valdemar as you finally brought your eyes to meet theirs.

Their crimson eyes turned to meet yours, that evil spark burning in their eyes like an ever growing inferno, accompanied by that sharp toothed smile. 

"Oh! I do believe I shall feed him to the beetles. Yes. I think that will work just fine. Unless you have any other suggestions?" They accented their questions with a cock of their head. 

You thought for a moment. The thought of throwing a live man into a pit of flesh-eating beetles didn't quite sit right. But you could only imagine what laws Valdemar had broken whilst doing that vivisection, and you werent ready to find out what the consequences would be if you had to dispose of the body properly. 

So ,with slight curiosity, you said, "No, I believe that will be fine." 

Valdemar's smile that fallowed more than made up for it. 

"Good! Let's get to it then, shall we?" They almost sang with glee. 

Without wasting any time, they got right to work with closing the man up enough so that his guts wouldn't spill out all over the place, and unstraping his legs and arms. 

And ,before you had time to react, Valdemar hoisted the man onto their shoulder with that in-human-like strength, and strutted effortlessly over to the pit, which you noticed was already open. 

You fallowed them as they unceremoniously tossed the man into the pit. 

You heard a loud thud echo in the chamber below, fallowed by scittering and an ear rattling scream as the man was eaten alive by the bugs below. 

You turned towards Valdemar to find them stating longingly at the pit. 

You decided to leave them be, standing in silence as they gazed upon the pit. 

In the dim silence you thought. You thought about how just ten minutes with Valdemar had grown you affection for them tenfold. You knew it was bad. You knew that too much contact would break your will to stay away completly and you would be trufully vulnerable to them. 

And that scared the living daylights out of you. 

You hated feeling vulnerable and susceptible to attack. Especially emotional attacks. You had endured enough heartbreak in your life, and you werent sure you fragile heart could take much more. 

But with the way Valdemar looked at you, you could feel your walls crumbling down. Even if they didn't feel the same for you. 

You were utterly smittin with them. 

You were brought back to reality by the sound of shuffling feet. 

Your eyes dragged up to find Valdemar already staring at you, their long, leather clad fingers steepled in front of them in their usual manner. 

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Valdemar asked. 

The question had caught you off gaurd. Sure, you werent exactly discreet in your avoidince, but you hadn't thought they'd care. 

But the flash of hurt that flitted across Valdemar's face when they asked the question told you otherwise. 

But you didn't want to admit that to them, so you decided to play dumb. 

"What are you talking about? I haven't been avoiding you" You asked with an almost blievable voice of inocense. 

Valdemar's peaked eyebrows furrowed. Their long legs took swift steps towards you. 

You stumbled backwards untill your back hit a table, almost knocking it over in the process. 

Valdemar continued untill they were very well avoiding your personal space, leaning over you with their hands trapping you on either side of the table. 

At the close proximity, you could smell "their" scent. You closed your eyes as you inhaled it deeply. 

You knew the closeness was going to break your will. But you were already in too deep. 

Go big or go home right? 

Without another moments hesitation, you grabbed Valdemar's face in your hands and leaned in, clossing the distance between your lips. 

You always had such a weak will. 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *GASP* A kiss?? A cliffhanger?? I think so. Hahaahaha. *evil laughter* deal with it. anyways, i wanted to try my hand at valdemars more sadistic side...? Hope it wasnt too much lol. Hope you enjoyed~  
> ~Alex~


	12. Authors note

IMPORTANT NOTE! PLEASE READ!

Hey guys. I know it's been a while since I've updated. And I apologize for that. But school's been rough lately. Also my internet access has been sporadic and limited. But I've finally caught a break. So I'm going to use this oprotunity to adress a few things. 

I realized ,while I was writting this most recent chapter (which will be out soon), that I don't actually have a plot for this story. Like, at all. Usually, before I write a story, I plan a rough outline of the things I'd like to happen in said story. But I guess I was too excited to just right the romance that I completely forgot to plan a plot. So, that's where you guys come in. I was playing around with a few ideas, and you guys can pick which ones you'd like most.

1) I was thinking about maybe bringing in someone from mc's past (family member, ex, ect. Whatever y'all want) the details aren't planned out, but I thought they could make some trouble for mc, val, and friends. 

2) I don't know why, but I thought it'd be pretty cool to have a war or something. Like maybe a Prince or someone comes to Vesuvia ,from another country, to court someone (nadi, mc, or anyone really) And gets all butt hurt at their refusal and decides to wage war like a little brat. Anyways, I thought that mc, valdemar and Julian could be enlisted in the military as medical officers. 

3) I was also thinking about having another terrible disease sweep across the land and the characters have to fight it and what not. 

Of course, the details can be decided by you guys for which ever ones you choose. There's also the option that the plot is litterally just the romamce progression of valdemar and mc as well. So if you don't like any of the options I've got you can choose that. Or you can come up with one in your own; I'm always up for suggestions. 

I think it would be pretty cool to add characters that you guys want. Like I might just pick someone randomly who wants a character in the story. It can be anyone, a character they've made up, themselves, their mc. I don't know, just a thought. 

I'm also thinking about finding someone to edit my chapters. I realize I'm not the best writter, so I was wondering if anyone was up for that. Let me know. You can email me @awright.7402@gmail.com or you can just comment on here. I'd prefer someone with a talent for the English language/grammer, but anyone with a basic understanding is welcome. 

And lastly, I wanted to talk about recognition. It's often hard for new writers to get a lot of reads and such. So I was wondering if some of you could share this fic with others in the fandom. You don't have to, but it would be greatly apretiated. 

So that basically wraps it up. Give some thought to what I've said, and make sure to comment suggestions. And always, thank you for reading.

~Alex


	13. Conflicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> I know I know, it's been forever since I've actually updated. But I've come with a decently long chapter to comensate for it. 
> 
> Thanks for all who commented on the last authors note. It was greatly apretiated  
> anyways, Enjoy >:)

Your sences were invaded with a constant flow of Valdemar, their everything washing over like a waterfall tumbling over a cliff. The feel of their suprisingly soft lips against your own and the swift fabric of their uniform under your fingertips. Their invading smell of steril room and crushed hurbs settled itself in your lungs and warmed your entire being untill you felt as if you were going to burn. 

It was all so intoxicating. 

You couldn't get enough of Valdemar. Not with the way they swiped their lips against your own softly. Or how their long fingers wrapped around your hips, rubbing tenderly in lazy, intoxicating circles. 

You sighed into the kiss. 

This feeling. It was overwhelming and scary and exciting all at once. You felt as if you were drowning in a sea of Valdemar, their eccence flowing into your lungs and stopping your breathing and choking you and dripping you dry of your ever weakening will. 

But despite the screaming alarms in your head warning you of your fragile emotional dextersity, you wrapped your arms tighter around Valdemar's broad shoulders, bringing their body flush against yours. In turn, they wrapped their arms tighter around your waist.

You involetary smiled against Valdemar's mouth. After a few more swipes of your lips and butterfly flutters in your belly, you pulled back just enough to rest your forehead against their own. 

But just as you did , they retracted instantly; unwrapping their arms from your waist and straightening themselves back into that ramrob straight posture. They steepled their fingers in front of them in the usual manner. 

You could feel your heart pull at their retreval, and you were sure the hurt was evedant on your face. But that hurt look was soon replaced by a confused one as you brought your eyes up to Valdemar's face. 

They were smilling. As if nothing was the matter. 

You were utterly confused

"If that was the reason why you've been avoiding me y/n, you could have just told me." They said, smilling sweetly. 

You blushed a bit and averted your eyes. "S-sorry, I've just been so confused lately and I guess I thought that if i-" 

Valdemar cut you off with a wave of their hand as they turned to clean up the vivisection table. "You do not need to explain yourself, y/n. I understand."

You furrowed your brows as you followed them. "You do?" You asked. You'd thought you'd been pretty discrete with your feelings. But then again, the way you stared at them all the time couldn't have been missed. And of course there was th...

"Of course," Valdemar said, cutting off your train of thought, "You have aquired feelings for someone. And ,since you've never kissed anyone before, you wanted help. But you were too embarrassed to ask for help, so you avoided me..." They turned to you, a scapel in one hand and a cleaning rag in the other "... Am I right?" 

You felt your heart drop into your stomach, your gut twisting violoently. You felt as if you were going to throw up. This couldn't be. The way Vademar had kissed you.... You were sure they felt the same way. They couldn't be that oblivious to your feelings could they? 

You turned away as you felt hot tears prick your eyes. You bit your bottom lip as hard as you could so as to prevent the body racking sobs you knew we're just below the surface. 

You pulled away and ,still turned around, wiped your river of tears and replied, "N-no no, I'm okay. You're right.." Your voice broke a bit at the end. You were praying Valdemar hadnt heard. But you could practically hear Valdemar's smile at being right. 

"Um, I just remembered that I have this ,um..... thing I've got to get to." You said hastly and ,not staying to listen to Valdemar's response, ran out of the dungeons as fast as your legs would take you. 

-

The comforting darkness of your bedroom surrounded you as you lay in your bed, silky skeets had entangled themselves around your body. You had to admit, the palace sheets were the softest and most comfortable things you'd wrapped yourself in. 

Your eyes were red and puffy from all the crying you had done. Your nose was stuffy and your throught was dry. 

And your mentality was broken. 

You still weren't sure why you had freaked out so much. But with the time to think about it, you'd been able to take a decent guess at it. You'd been bottling things up as of late. So much so that you were due to burst at any moment. That little incident with Valdemar must have been the breaking point. 

But the way you reacted had produced a whole new multitude of problems. The first of them being that Valdemar had seen you break down like that. You were hoping that they would be oblivious to it, but now that you thought about it, you weren't so sure. Valdemar wasn't dumb, you new that. So it goes with out saying that they'd know there was something wrong. And that they had caused that something, at least a part of it. 

And you weren't quite sure how to deal with that. You couldn't avoid them again. That last time had obviously upset them. And you didn't want to jeprodize your friendship with them just because you couldn't compose your feelings. But you also didn't want to hide your feelings either. 

You sighed as you sat up in your bed. You needed help with this. 

So who better to ask for help than your friend Nadia. And that's exactly what you were going to do. 

You got out of bed to search for your robe. You still had your day clothes on, but the palace halls tended to get a bit chilly at night, so a robe would have to do. 

The plush carpet of your room floor vined through your toes as you spotted the robe on a hook on the opposite wall. You grabbed it, threw it over your shoulders, and headed on your way to Nadia's chambers. 

You were right, the hallways were drafty as you navigated your way through them, the sound of your steps against the floor echoing around the high ceilings of the palace. This and the limited light left for an eerie atmousphere and a certain feeling of quiet to settle in your gut. 

You involuntarily shivered. 

Your eyes spotted the stairs to the finally-dead-count's quarters. The dogs that had usually acompanied the steps were no longer there. After you and your friends had finally defeated the terrible count, they no longer gaurded the stairs. Instead, they tended to roam the palace grounds at their own free will. They also weren't quite as menacing. You could now walk up to them and pet them whenever. 

The death of the count was ,ultimatly, better for everyone. Even the dogs. 

Now that you thought about it, everyone seemed more relaxed as of late. Nadia didn't have head aches anymore, and without the stress of dealing with her late-but-kinda-not-late-at-the-time husband's problems, she was a lot more care free and happy. And since Julian wasn't on the run from law anymore, he was able to wark as a doctor with out the stress. Which of course in turn made Portia less stressed because she didn't have to worry about her brother as much. And Asra was a lot happier knowing the count couldn't cause trouble to anyone anymore. 

Even you were less stressed. Of course, you still had nightmares about the whole ordeal, but you didn't have to worry about impending death all of the time. 

And on top of it all, the city profited from his dimise as well. Since you all didn't have to worry about him anymore, you could finally set in motion the rebuilding of the worse parts of the city. And the poor were finally being fed and housed. 

You smiled to yourself. You were happy with the improvments of the city. 

As you finished your train of thought, you finally aproached Nadia's door. You stared at the engravings in the wood, hoping that Nadia was awake. 

You knocked, and not a second later, you heard a faint, "come in." 

You opened the door, peaking your head in before stepping fully into the room. The room was dark, the only light being the evening moon light streaming through the windows. You found Nadia perched on the bay window, looking out the pane of glass with a conflicted look. 

As you aproached, she turned to you, a soft smile on her lips. 

"I hope I didn't wake you?" You said. 

Nadia gestured for you to join her on the window, "No, y/n. I unfortunatly haven't been to sleep yet. I've had a few conflicting thoughts on my mind," she said as you sat across from her on the plushy bay window, "and if your here, then you must have some as well." 

You smiled tiredly, "alas, your intuition is right Nadia." You replied as you brought your legs up to cross them in front of you. 

Nadia mimicked your position, gazing out the window, "so what troubles you at this time, y/n?" 

You sigh, turning to gaze out the window. 

"Feelings are hard," you answer.

Nadia glanced at you, "they often are." 

"It's just," you sigh again, "I don't know what to do. I really like this person. But I don't think they like me back. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I'm too emotionally exhausted to keep it a secret from them." 

Nadia gave you a knowing look as she grinned. You furrowed your brows, "what?" You ask, confused. 

"Does this... person.... happen to be Valdemar?" She asked, smirking at your look of astonishment. 

You blanched. How did she know? Then you thought about it. It was to be expected, Nadia's intuition never failed her. 

You nodded, sighed, then looked out of the window again. And then you started to spill your guts out. You told her everything, from the kiss with Valdemar to your worries about what others would think about it. 

And all the while, Nadia sat and listened, nodding at appropriate intervals. 

After your spew, You were out of breath. And Nadia seemed to be contemplating what you'd said. 

"Hmmmm," she hummed as she thought, staring out the window. When she seemed to come to a conclusion, she turned to you, "You are right, they seem oblivious to your feelings. But I think this is to be expected. In all the years I've known Valdemar, they've never been good with feelings, others' or their own." 

You listened inteltly. 

"Don't get me wrong, Valdemar is a very smart and intelligent person, when it comes to anything but feelings. I think that they often get confused with the concept of feelings, and when they are introduced to them ,be it someone else's or their own, and they cannot correctly identify it, they choose to apply a scientific concept to it." Nadia paused, eyebrows furrowed, "perhaps what is happening, is that they do have feelings for you; of this I have no doubt, for the way they look at and act around you is no secret; but they do not know this. So instead, they choose to come up with realistic, scientific, and reasonable explanations for them."

You turned your attention out the window again, thinking upon what Nadia had said. If what the countess said was true ,and you had know doubt it wasn't, then you had a whole new problem to deal with. Not only did you have to deal with your feelings, but Valdemar's unknown ones as well. 

You turned back to Nadia, "then what shall I do? I don't want to force Valdemar to confront their feelings, but the stress of keeping my own in is exhausting." 

Nadia gave it some thought, then said, "I think you should tell them. If not for their sake, then for your own. I don't think confessing your feelings will cause you to loose your friendship with Valdemar. And maybe telling them your feelings will help them realize their own." She grinned at you, " this is what you do, first, you ask them to talk, alone. And ,once you're alone, you confess your feelings. But do not tell them about their own, they should figure that out on their own." 

You nodded. 

"And whatever happens," she continues, giving you a smile, "I shall be here for moral support." 

You have her an apretiative smile back, "thanks nadi, I apretiate it." 

You leaned over and gave her a hug, which she returned, saying, "anytime y/n." 

As you pulled away, you remembered something, "so what was it that you were contemplating?" 

Nadia sighed heavily, "alas, my troubles never seen to end." She looked at you, "we are getting visiters at the palace tomorrow. Political buissness." 

"Oh?", you asked, curiosity peaked. 

"The eldest child of the king of Cardonia ,Princess Cayshia, is coming to deal with trading buissness on her father's behalf. Apparently, her younger and only other sibling ,Prince Dellarick, is tagging along." ,she explained. 

You sensed there was more, so you waited patiently. 

"They are desperate for food. Since their war against the kingdom of Waylot two years ago, they've been short on food stuffs, on acount of Waylot's piliges of their feilds. The Princess has been desperately trying to rebuild the fields, but her stubborn, money hungry father won't donate the funds. So she is coming here to discuss trade of food stuffs with Vesuvia," Nadia said. 

Makes sence to want to trade with us, you thought. Vesuvia is known for its abundance of fish. It had the largest fish stocks in the coast. 

"So why is this a problem?" You asked, still confused on the conflict at hand. 

Nadia sighed again, "it is a problem because Cardonia has nothing of value to trade with. As I've said, their fields are down. And the only other decent thing they could trade with us is their large amounts of timber. But Vesuvia has an abundance of that as well," the countess rubbed her temples, "I pity the Princess grately, for she is the only person of nobility that is attempting to fix Cardonia's problems. And I almost want to trade for the wood just so the citizens of the city have food. But I also don't want to make a bad trade and ruin Vesuvia's own economic status." 

Nadia turned to you once more, eyes conflicted and hopeless, "what ever do I do y/n?"

You thought for a moment. It was clear that the king had no intention of using any of his money for anyone but himself. And Nadia was right, making a bad trade like that just for the sake of pity could cost the lives of many in Vesuvia. 

"Maybe you could hold a council meeting, while the princess is here," you said. Nadia gave you a nod to continue, "maybe the courtiers need something that Cardonia has to offer. They may not have specific jobs, but each are 'in charge' of certain things. Valdemar is the head of all things medical, Volta the head of agriculture, and so on and so forth. What I'm saying is, they might need things that Vesuvia doesn't have in abundance for their trade. And what better way to find these things out than to hold a council meeting, correct?" 

You were out of breath by the time you had finished your explanation. Nadia's brows were furrowed as she thought of what you'd said. 

"That might just work y/n," Nadia smiled, "the cortiers might not need anything. But I'm any case, it will give a perpose to the meeting." 

Nadia stood and adgusted her robe as she walked across her room to grab two cups of warm tea. She walked back over and offered you a cup, which you took gratefully. 

"Thank you y/n, this meeting of ours has proved too be quite preductive." You nodded your head as you sipped the mint tea. It was refreshing as it quenched your dry throught. "The princess and her brother are due to the palace at noon tomarrow. We shall all greet them, and the meeting shall take place durring dinner. I'm the dining room rather than the meeting hall. I think that would work just fine, don't you, magician?" 

You nodded your head, the hot cup of tea warning your cool hands. Both you and Nadia starred out of the window, looking at the city below. If you squinted your eyes enough, you could almost see Asra's shop from here. You wondered what he was doing. Probably awake, reading a book. Or working on a new spell. And if Julian was there, he'd be in the background, teasing and anoying Asra. 

You smiled to yourself. You loved your companions. Speaking of....

You looked at Nadia. Her red eyes held a new confidence in them as she gazed at the stars above. Her long, beautiful hair fell in tendrils around her. You were so glad you'd met her. And you were even more grateful that she was your friend. She was always willing to help, and her intuition often led for good advice. You were happy to call her your friend. 

She glanced at you, catching you looking at her. You have her a smile, which she returned. 

And together, you turned towards the window again. You both watched as the stars danced in the sky and as the city slept with a curtain blissful silence, the promise of a eventful tomarrow on the both of your minds. 

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A princess and her brother huh? Let's hope Dellarick doesn't cause troubles, yes? 
> 
> As you can see, I went with number three from the last author's note. And ,not gonna lie, that one was my favorite anyways. 
> 
> Also, I dont know anything about a court system or trading stuff, so I kinda just made it all up. I hope it's not poop. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope to see you next chapter. Thanks for reading. 
> 
> -Alex-


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